Then I found the Old Town Home blog and discovered that someone else had gone through the same process. I'm following their lead, except I added in more sanding (by hand): 80-grit, 100-grit, 150-grit and, finally, 220. This was last night, even after a workout at Trailhead Athletics, mind you. My arms are pooped. A workout regimen is superfluous when you have a new house.
I applied Howard Butcher Block Conditioner and left it overnight. It said 20 minutes, but whatever. I wanted it to really get in there! I wiped that down this morning and applied another coat. It feels so smooth and just look at the water beading up: